Balance

A terrible thing happened in our lives a few months back when our 11-month old cat, a Christmas present for our 6 year old, was killed by dogs. It was heartbreaking all around, of course for Habs, the cat, for Trevor, for Cheryl who did most of the cleaning up, for the rest of the family and presumably for the owner of the dogs, tho it was a challenge for her to express her sorrow to everyone.

It surprised me in the weeks that ensued the need I had, a seemingly physical need as much as an emotional one, to tell people about what happened. And each time I told the story, especially to cat lovers, particularly the kind folks I work with, that it was incredibly selfish of me to tell them this story. What good would they get out of it? They would feel pain too - the sorrow we were all feeling, the sadness, the helplessness. What right did I have to bring such pain into their lives?

But then I thought about the phenomenon of people slowing down to see the after effects of traffic accidents, or to get wrapped up in a story in the news about a mom killing her young children, or a fire that kills a family. Why do we read those stories? It brings us absolutely no joy whatever, only pain and sadness.

So it further struck me that like so many other aspects of our lives, there is so much balance, and also a NEED for so much balance. Give credit to God or whatever, but it's so cool that we have such a need to tell people the terrible things that have happened in our lives and there is such a seeming need for people to hear about such things.

As for me, I slow down to see accidents only to see if I know the people involved. I don't read or watch stories of tragedy, especially if they involve children - I turn the channel as fast as I can if it comes on TV and I glance at headlines to see if I can read them in full, if they meet my criteria. And if someone starts to tell me a story involving children getting hurt, I ask them to stop. I hope I'm not upsetting the balance of the universe.

Having said that, I spent 4 hours last night talking with a friend who is going through a divorce. I got the impression he didn't have many folks he could talk about it with. Well, he had people, but most of them had turned against him, thinking they had to choose sides, and had decided he was the bad guy in the situation, as if there had to be one. Much of it was a sad discussion, but it was 4 hours I enjoyed as much as any 4 hours I've been through in a long time. It was happy too, as he's since fallen in love again, and we also talked about a lot of other fun things as well.

So there's something to be learned there, but I don't know what it is. I think it had more to do with the buddy I was talking with then the subject matter. He's one of the many, many people I've been lucky enough to be friends with in my life.

I just can't stop

Have you ever:

- stood for something
- taken a strong stand
- been stood up by someone
- been big on someone

And have you had to play on an uneven playing field? Actually, I have - our soccer field at Earlham was terrible. No wonder we always lost - it was the proverbial uneven playing field!