Things they never taught us in health class

One day, as I sat down in Quaker Meeting for Worship, these thoughts all suddenly came roaring into my head, about the joys of, well, you know what I'm talking about:

You can do it alone, or with anyone really, but doing it with the person you love makes it way more meaningful.

Some people like to talk during it, some people always do, some never do but most people make that decision when they're in the moment, maybe depending on what they're thinking about.

Sometimes while you're doing it, you wonder why. It's not doing anything for you, you're just not really feeling it and you can't wait til it's over. And you wonder what the big deal is that makes so many people so enamored of it.

Sometimes it doesn't feel exactly right when you start, but once you're into it, it feels like the greatest thing in the world and you wonder why it's been so long since you did it. You remember again why you love it so much and why you should do it way more often than you've been doing it lately.

Sometimes you feel obliged to do it, because your spouse is in the mood. Sometimes even when you're in the mood but your spouse isn't, you either don't do it, or you do it alone anyway.

Sometimes when you haven't done it for awhile you feel like you're gonna explode if you don't do it soon.

Of course, I'm talking about Meeting for Worship, but like I said at the start, you probably already knew what I was talking about.

But still not as bad as the past 8 years

When reporters asked President Obama how bad our financial crisis is at last night’s press conference, Obama should have paraphrased:

Dr. Peter Venkman:
This (country) is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions!
Mayor:
What do you mean "biblical"?
Dr. Raymond Stantz:
What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor. Real wrath of God type stuff! Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler:
Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, and volcanos!
Winston Zeddemore:
The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman:
Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!