...and I probably still am!

I just sent the email below to a guy I graduated with in High School who had emailed a bunch of us about an upcoming reunion. Joe was very active with the Black Student support group at Westtown - I forget the exact name, but it probably fit into some cute acronym like the same group in college - the Black Leadership Action Committee. I forget how it came up, but he once invited me to come over to his room in our senior year to talk about race issues, a topic that has always fascinated me. I don't remember a lot about our discussions, but I remember this: He asked me very matter-of-factly and non-confrontationally, "Are you afraid of black people?" Of course, I answered no, and he didn't challenge me on it, but I suspect the real answer lay somewhere along the lines of Yes! Funny, I also remember my sister, Sherry, asking me the same question some years later, except this time it was about women and of course, I am pretty sure the answer I gave and the one I should more honestly have given were the exact same as to Joe's question.


Hey Joe –

How are you? How’s life? Hey, I saw the thing in The Westtonian about George Bell and googled him to try to say hello and congrats on what was it – getting in to the Hall of Fame? But I couldn’t find an email address for him. Do I remember that you are in touch with him on occasion? If so, please tell him I said Hi and congrats.

I think of you from time to time, Joe, tho I’m embarrassed to admit, I think of you primarily when events like the Imus thing happened. I was a fan of his, to some extent, used to listen to his show on the way to work. It always seemed sad to me that that he felt it necessary to use some of the routines his staff engaged in – sad that he wanted it, sad that people still found it funny. I think after what happened, an opportunity was missed. He pledged to change the format of his show to include, I forget what his exact words were, whether he said more diversity or more minority voices. I wish they’d suspended him, put him on probation and then waited to see what direction he took his show in. He could have used it for good going forward, and taught people a lot.

I get tired of hearing people say that we need a “national dialogue on race”. Seems to me that people love to talk about race issues already. Problem is, it’s too often whites talking to whites and blacks to blacks, and presumably other minorities with each other too. I think I may have told you that I once participated in a “Listening Seminar” hosted by the local YWCA, hosted by the mother of a Westtown Student I coached there in volleyball, named, shoot, her last name was Pettus, for some reason, I’m thinking her name was Candy? She was a very talented actress, I believe. And the father of the family may have been the President of Cheney University? Anyway, there were about 10 of us in the seminar which met 1-2 nights a week for a month or so. I think about ¾ of us were of the Caucasian variety, and the problem was that we were pretty much all of the same mind – open-minded, liberal-types. Well, open-minded to a point. I took many things away from that gathering, but one thing I remember in particular relative to what I started this paragraph with.

One woman was African-American – the head of the local NAACP. She was very angry about a lot of things. And she seemed far more interested in talking than listening, but that was OK, because we had a lot to learn from her. I was upset by some of the things she said, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. One thing she said that most upset me was when someone said they would like to have more opportunity to speak with blacks about race issues and she said that her friends wouldn’t be interested in doing that since they were tired of talking about it with each other! I sure hope that isn’t/wasn’t true, but it kept us from pursuing the idea any further and perhaps an opportunity was missed.

Well, I didn’t expect to go off on that tangent, Joe. I promised you a few years back that I was going to email you with some of my thoughts about race issues, and this is a thimble full of those thoughts. There’s plenty more where they came from, tho none of it necessarily more coherent!

And I also want to make clear that although I admitted above that I think of you primarily in a black/white context, when such issues come up, it has always struck me how comfortable I am around you. You know how you have close friends you can go without seeing or communicating with for years, but when you do see them, you can start talking as though you never stopped hanging with them? You make me feel that way too, not because we have a lot to talk about or a lot in common, but it’s your aura, I think. One that makes you immediately comfortable to be around. I always think of Randy Nadeau that way too, tho since he and I were roomies, we have more to talk about. Anyway, I hope you get my point.

I hope life is great for you, Joe, and if you ever are down here to see the Longs and want to stop in for a home-cooked meal, please let me know. Or I can just meet you somewhere after work if you’d prefer that.

- Jamie