Bad Theatre

Worst TV shows ever - not open to discussion:

- The Jeffersons
- Murphy Brown
- Golden Girls

...and pretty much any show having anything to do with lawyers, doctors, detectives and/or police, well, since Adam-12 and Car 54 went off the air anyway. Oh yeah, and pretty much all British Comedy - which may be the all time oxymoron.

If you nab it by the nub, will it go numb?

3 words that should be eliminated from the english language:
- Nab
- Nub
- Numb

In fact, you can throw niblets in there too.

Num-nums are okay though.

Except for me, of course!

I wonder why it is that the most sincere things, both complimentary and not, that we say about anyone is said to anyone but the person we're talking about.

Don't read this, Dad!

I like to learn the meaning of a new word as much as the next guy, but there are some words, like one I saw in the New York Times this morning, that I just don't need to learn. So I'm going to start a list of words that I just don't want cluttering up my head, lest it force me to forget important things, like the name of the only Phillies pitcher to wear sunglasses while he pitched (Lowell Palmer, duh!) :

- solipsism
- rubicon
- Machiavellian
- epistemological (see k8's comment) Any other suggestions?!

And that's how a TRUE patriot feels!

I like to tell people that it's okay for Eagles fans to criticize the Eagles, but if a New York Giants fan does it, they are looking for a fight.

It strikes me that two recent Supreme Court decisions follow an odd parallel to that. The conservatives argue that the ruling on the Guantanamo Bay detainees guarantees that more Americans will be killed by foreign terrorists, but the same conservatives were thrilled that gun laws were relaxed to allow all americans the right to bear arms.

So if I am boiling it down correctly, they're saying they'd much rather be killed by their fellow americans then by a bunch of funny-looking foreigners.

Emma-ese

Cheryl said we should write down some of these conversations we have with our kids:

Emma: "Daddy, are we allowed to give you things, even when it isn't Father's Day?"
Me: "Sure, Emma, Mommy and I love presents from you guys anytime!"
Emma: "No, I mean just to you."
Me: "Sure, that would be great, Emma, but you guys are already really good at that."
(pause)
Emma: "But I don't even know how much milk you like on your honey-nut cheerios!"

Gungula gungula

Is ogling ALWAYS followed by googling? Or is it just me.

Has anyone ever said this sentence out loud before? Go ahead - you can be the first:

Does googling follow ogling just as obladah follows obladee?

Keep that mirror away from me! No, give it back.

I realized an uncomfortable truth in myself last night that I don't understand: When I hear Obama supporters claim that people are voting against him for racist reasons, it makes me like him more. When I hear Hillary supporters claim people are voting against her b/c she's a woman, it makes me like her less. I don't know what that means about me, but it makes me a little uncomfortable.

UPDATE (a few hours later): I just heard that the Manager of the stinkin' Mets said he's getting extra criticism because he's black and it made me like him less, so I guess it has more to do with my feelings about the person before I heard the comments than anything else, so feel free to skip over this post completely.

They Shoot Horses Don't They?

Seems to me there is some sort of weird parallel between the discussion of which is worse - to sentence someone to the death penalty vs giving someone a life sentence and what my parents have experienced.

My Dad got the death penalty 5 years ago, dying of aspiration pneumonia. My mom got the life sentence and she spends a few hours every night banging on the windows of her apartment, screaming, trying to get the attention of someone walking by so she can warn them about The Man.

I just hope the stinkin' liberals don't tighten up the gun control laws before I get to that age, when I'll scan the gunshows looking for the End-of-Life Special - a handgun...and one bullet.

Top 10 Obama List...give or take a few

Is one allowed to do a top 10 list if:
a - it makes no attempt at humor
b - there aren't ten reasons...yet?!

I've been jotting down reasons as I think of them, although I don't know if I have ten good ones yet, but here they are - My Top 10 Reasons I decided to vote to Barack Obama:

1 - Diplomacy - As he said at the appearance we went to on Wednesday, quoting JFK, "We must never negotiate out of fear, but we should never fear to negotiate." If your neighbor is throwing rocks at your dog, or spraying pesticides on your flowers, which will get the best results - to do the same thing to him or to knock on his door and ask if you can talk about what is happening? Maybe there is an easy, peaceful way to work it out once you understand what is causing him to do what he's doing.
2 - A Different kind of Role Model - I saw a 20-something black man the other day walking toward me. He had a baseball cap on tilted sideways. His pants were down past his hips with his underwear showing. His clothes were all baggy and he had gold chains around his neck. After weeks of following Obama so closely, it struck me that this young man looked like an anachronism. And I felt sorry for him, wishing he had a better role model to look up to then rap stars and basketball players. Maybe not an entirely PC reason, but it’s what I was thinking at the time.
3 - Anti-Groupthink - I remember from 30+ years ago Social Psych class, that JFK used to appoint someone in his cabinet meetings to play devil's advocate. He didn't want yes men (yes people?) on his staff. From what I've read in 2 separate accounts, Obama will call people he knows who have opinions on things that don't agree with his. He wants to know both sides of an issue before he makes his decision on where he stands on an issue. He will even warn the person he's asking that he probably won't agree with what he is saying, but he just wants to know all there is to know so he can take both sides into account.
4 - Validation - The students, the "Young People", are so energized by Obama, I would hate to see them feel like all their energy and excitement was wasted. And I would especially hate it if they felt disillusioned by the Democratic Party. What would make it many times worse would be if after all their hard work, which gave Obama the clear lead in delegates, popular votes and states won, if a bunch of fat cat politicians came in in the form of super delegates and told them basically. "That's cute that you all got so excited, but we know better what's best for you, so we're going to put someone else in place."
5 - From a strategic general election-winning standpoint, it will be a lot easier for the R's to attack Hillary than Obama. Partially because he's black, but also because there's just not a lot there to dislike, I think the R's will look all the worse for going negative on him.
6 - Somewhat related, do we really want the next 7 months to be all about travelgate, and all those goofy things they threw at Hillary for 8 years? Let's just get all that Clinton stuff in the rearview mirror...including Bill himself. He just looks worse everyday, every time he gives a speech. It's enough to make one wonder if the R's weren't right about him.
7 - With Healthcare such a pressing issue, we would hear all about "Hillarycare" and socialized medicine instead of the real facts and approaches to best attack the issue of our terrible healthcare system. Let's start from a position of working together instead of Hillary's legacy of telling everyone what we're going to do.
8 - The Lies - The Bosnia Sniper lie doesn't seem like that big a deal. I have a hard time remembering details of things that happened to me 10 years ago, though if it had to do with people shooting at me, I'm thinking I'd probably remember that a little more clearly. But she messed up so many parts of the story, even when she'd told the story repeatedly and then claimed to be sleep deprived, (and if she's easily affected by sleep derivation, do we really want her answering the phone at 3a.m...and can someone please tell me why she is wearing a pearl necklace and bright red lipstick at 3a.m.?!). I just don't want 4-8 more years of the lies and obfuscations and of Bill defending her and making things up himself (she didn't tell the story at 11 at night, she told it at a luncheon speech).
9 - It's not all about Obama - Beside the #1 reason at the top of this list - diplomacy - I think the biggest reason I want Obama to be the nominee is the effect he'll have on the rest of the races. So many R's and independents will come out to vote against Hillary, that they'll also then vote for the other R's on the ballot. If those types stay home, not only does it give Obama a better chance to win, it gives all the other D's on the ballot a better chance to win. The best chance the R’s have to win isn’t John McCain, it’s Hillary.

(I guess I had more reasons than I realized!)

10 - The impact around the world of not only voting a black man, ok half-black, whatever, as President will be huge, especially in Mexico, Africa and South America, but even more so, how angry can teenage male suicide bombers get against a country with a President named Barack Hussein Obama. There is a huge cleansing effect on the world and, even more so at home, where he is not as polarizing a figure as Hillary is.

But wait, there's more!

11 - Truth to Power - there was a great article in Time Magazine some months back that listed all of the speeches Obama has given where he has told his audience the exact opposite of what they wanted to hear. The example I remember best was about merit pay - the teachers very much oppose the idea. Obama is for it. He has done the same thing in speeches he's given to unions.

And finally...for now:

12 - Don't you want your daughter to be the first Woman President?!

And here are some other articles I've bookmarked through the months as evidence of why I'm such an enthusiastic supporter. The top 3 are written by the conservative columnist for the New York Times, David Brooks:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/04/opinion/04brooks.html?th&emc=th

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/18/opinion/18brooks.html?th&emc=th

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/08/opinion/08brooks.html?th&emc=th

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/10/opinion/10cohen.html?th&emc=th

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/04/04/notes040408.DTL

Obama as a professor at U of Chicago:
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/12/20/12119/122/324/424784

I had a nightmare last night that I was lucky enough to be at a party with all kinds of important people and I saw a friend who was talking with Barack Obama and the Dalai Lama, and when the friend saw me, he called me over and said to them, I'd like to introduce my friend:

(turning first to them and then pointing to me, he said) Obama? Lama?...Ding dong.

Ok, you find a better way to make it into a joke!

A weekend about...nothing

I did something last week that I don't remember doing since I got married, or since Cheryl and the kids moved in with me. And no, it's not that! Cheryl and I went away for the weekend, by ourselves, and we rarely left Audrey and Dave's cottage, except to go eat. So when we weren't, uh, you know, we did a lot of nothing. We read. We did...nothing. And specifically, what I did, that I haven't done since about August of 1998 is, while Cheryl was sleeping in the other room, I laid on the couch, and just stared at a wall and thought about...nothing. I didn't have kids climbing on me. I didn't feel guilt for not getting something done. i wasn't planning what I needed to accomplish by the end of the day. I wasn't thinking about problems at work. I wasn't thinking about politics or sports. I was just thinking about well, whatever popped into my head, some of which involved thinking about mom and how I need to spend more time with her before she's gone. But the cool thing is, I did that for a half hour or more and an hour or 3 later, when I told Cheryl about it, I couldn't think of just about anything I thought about except mom, and how cool it was that I had nothing I had to think about! I miss that...but I sure wouldn't trade my current life for it.

loving you and hating that pencil!

There were things I knew to expect about growing old, memory and physical well-being related, tho it still amazes me when I am in the shower and can't remember whether I washed my hair yet, but I didn't expect this: The older I get, the more patience I have with people and the less I have with inanimate objects.

More and more when people say or do things that previously would have made me angry, now I just sort of shake my head and feel sorry for them. But if I bump into something, or drop something, ARGH - it makes me nuts! And I am pretty sure both those things are age-related, and I have no idea why.

See?

I wish this were an original thought. Well, come to think of it, it was by someone, though not by me, but I like it so much , I don't want to forget it:

Can you see farther in the daylight or at night?

And now, I have literally sat here for about 5 mimutes waiting as if to give you enough time to think about it. And maybe, though I suspect you've guessed that the easy answer - daytime - is wrong, I can help you get the right answer by illustrating the reason why that's wrong, with this: Put a flashlight up in your face about 6 inches from your eyes and turn it on. Can you see anything behind it?

Of course you can see farther at night - look up in the sky tonight and tell me what you see.

And here I didn't even know the ladder was a suspect

Now that I have sufficently dumbed down this blog with observations as pointless as the one below this, I am now officially freed up by the blog-gods in my head to post more frequently about matters equally germane...and bland...such as this:

I wonder if more people are influenced to vote for Hillary because she's a woman or against her for the same reason.

And furthermore, I don't know know which would be worse, though I suspect it's the latter.

little help!

I just realized the word is accompanist, not accompany-ist. And here I had embarrassed myself by mis-pronounciating it all these years.

I don't but does it ever!

I don't love rocks, but love rocks!

plus sa change...

Things that never seem to change, and that's a good thing:

1 - Joe Paterno as coach at Penn State
2 - Springsteen's awesome excellence

Things that never seem to change, and that's a bad thing:

1 - a Bush or Clinton running for VP or President...for every presidential election from 1980 to 2011, and possibly beyond.

And yes these are your only choices

Which feels less natural?

1 - the way you felt pretty much every day of middle and high school
2 - monogamy

And as a disclaimer of sorts, monogamy is not really a challenge for me, but it just doesn't feel right somehow.

I was going to say monogamy comes easily for me, but somehow it just didn't sound right.

And after an hour or two The Sounds of Silence seem pretty nice too

If I'd been asked, and I wasn't, my favorite sounds, up until recently, I would have said:

- rain hitting our roof
- skates cutting on ice
- the solid crack of a bat hitting a baseball or even a softball
- the swish of a basketball going through a net

But I realized not too long ago that my really favorite sound is when I get home from work and I hear Trev and Emma running out of the house yelling, "DADDY!!!!"

I have a bad feeling about this

Have you ever felt badly?

I think if you asked Paige Elmore about the summer of 1972 she would tell you that I had. But it sure didn't feel that way at the time.

I suppose I should tell her that I'm sorry that I don't feel bad about feeling badly.

Thank me very much

Cheryl likes to make fun of me when I seem to seek some sort of congratulations when I have accomplished some relatively small task. "Nice job, Sweetie, you did such a great job taking out the trash!" And although I like to think I'm not that bad it struck me that in the same way we sometimes repeat the punchline of a joke after everyone has finished laughing the first time they hear it so we can laugh a second time, part of the enjoyment one gets from being told they did a nice job at some little thing, comes from getting the same feeling of accomplishment one had upon finishing it in the first place.

Really, really fascinating observation, eh?

Just take care of each other

Don't feel bad for me when I die, cuz I'll be dead.

Get me re-write

OK, upon viewing my last two posts, the two directly below this one, it seems like maybe I should have had a different subject line on the lower one, so it doesn't look like the two are related, so to speak, in any way! I'll look into it.

And sometimes I just don't like the answers I give myself

I guess I found the answer to my previous question about which kind of pain I'd rather do away with, but I wish I hadn't figured it out this way. My (first-) cousin (-once-removed), Laura, died on Sunday. They found her dead in her apartment in Denmark where she was on an off campus program of some sort.

Even though I thought of Laura as sort of a generally sad person, not happy enough with herself, or content with her attributes, every image I have of her in my mind is with the biggest of smiles, always with a glow, just enjoying the scene she was a part of, enjoying the people she was with. But then, every time I was with her, she was with her family, and she clearly loved them very much. She seems like she would have been a good person to have as a friend - loyal, a good listener, low-maintenance, always looking for the humor in things...like a lot of us McVickar-types, of which she was one, tho her last name was Schaefer.

She emailed me a few months ago from Denmark, and here is what she wrote:

"Jamie & Co.,Don't cancel Big TG on my account! I do understand your reasoning, though. Part of me is a little relieved -- since I would have missed it anyway, I'm a little glad I won't be missing out on great big family fun! It's a Friday night here and, normally, that would involve partying (I did get drunk for the very first time [of my life] last night... I am quite entertaining when intoxicated) -- however, I am, sadly, sick. I've got the snifflies and the coughs and I'm losing my voice... I must say, it's extremely annoying. It's nice to have a bit of an excuse for a reprieve from social life 24/7, as, over the past year and a half, I've gotten pretty used to having nearly no social life. Big change from there to here! Sometime I'll tell you all about IPC. I need to go back to sleep soon (I'm just waiting for this damn sneeze to finally appear... it's tickling my nose and teasing me but not giving me the satisfaction of a sneeze!), but let me tell you: IPC? Is amazing. It's an amazing experience. Earlier today I talked to one of my teachers (the drama and choir teacher, so he's seen my vulnerable side) about my experiences at Colby and my anxiety and such... a bit of an explanation, I guess? By the end of our talk, we shared a nice hug. I'm already much more outgoing than I ever was at Colby or than I've ever really been in my life, as, out of 50+ students, I feel completely comfortable with about 45 of them. I was telling Mom and Dad that, already, after less than a month here, I can't imagine leaving these people. That they've all affected my life and become important to me... and I definitely won't want them to leave at the end of the term (I say 'them to leave' as I'm going to be staying for a second term). It's truly impressive. Anyway, much more later. I encourage you (and Cheryl, definitely) to respond. Ask questions, give me info about Ev and Elissa and the young'uns and Ammar... also, I'm sure you probably don't have time, but I encourage letters/packages. Packages are a bit much to ask, I know, but hearing one's name at mail call in the morning is wonderful. Here's my address:Laura SchaeferInternational People's CollegeMontebello Alle 13000 HelsingorDENMARKFinally, please, go make an account at http://www.flickr.com/. I have an account (ldougers) -- Dad and K8've signed up as well. Friend me or email me with your account name and I'll add you as family... and you can see my pictures. I'm slowly but surely putting up pictures I have on my computer. Eventually, I'm sure, I'll get up pictures from last Thanksgiving. Anyway, yeah, that's it for now. I've just gotten hiccups and I'd better try to steer them away. Like cattle. Annoying, annoying cattle. Much, much love! Laura"

...which she quickly followed with:

"PS (I suppose): Does one steer cattle? Or herd it? You herd sheep and steer cattle, yes? I like sheep so I'd say my hiccups aren't sheep. But I like cows, too. Anyway, I was concentrating on this steering/herding phenomenon and now said hiccups have been steered. Or herded. Whatever. PPS: If you couldn't tell that I'm exhausted and rather ill before, then you can now, right? ...right. PPPS: Love!"

This was my very unfortunate reply:

"Hi Laura - I am SO behind on emails. I'll catch (sic) with you one of these days. Great to hear you're having a good time tho.- Jamie"

Not even so much as a "Love, Jamie" ...and here it is 2 months later and I never did reply, dammit. What an asshole. But who's hurt most by my ignorance? Me...I hope.

Oh yeah, the answer to my question is I'd rather never feel physical pain again. The pain I've felt this week feels good...appropriate, like Laura deserves my feeling this much pain, not that she'd want me to, but because if I just thought "Ah, darn the luck." and moved on, it wouldn't have been the right reply. There's some inexplicable solace in the pain I've felt all week.

I'm glad I got to know you these past few years, Laura. Thanks for always brightening my life, when ever you were in it. Love, Jamie

Unless she's really into incest, then it would work the same

It strikes me that there's no better example of the difference between men and women than how they break up. A girl, wanting to do it in the nicest possible way, tells the guy that he thinks of him more of as a brother, and wants to remain friends. There is nothing worse you can say to a guy. All the guy hears is that he's ugly, and worse, that he's lousy in bed.

If a girl really wants to be nice, she'd say she's breaking up with him even though the sex is the best she's ever had, but she just can't get over what an asshole the guy is. A guy would leave that conversation on cloud nine, pumping his fist and telling his buddies all about it.

The way a guy breaks up with a girl? He stops calling her or taking her calls. Ever the more thoughtful of the genders.

other than that we're lots of fun!

Who changes more between the ages of 14 and 30 - males or females? And I don't mean in terms of appearance.

(decide before you read further...)

Most people I know say males, but I disagree. I don't think guys change from the time they're 14 til pretty much the time they die. Girls change more b/c at age 14 they think guys are really cool and mysterious and as loving and thoughtful as they are, but by age 30 they pretty much realize most of us are jerks, more interested in sports, beer, and food than just about anything else.

Well, except playing with ourselves...while we watch sports and drink beer and eat hoagies.

hypothetical

If you had a choice between never again feeling physical pain or mental pain the rest of your life, which would it be?

Don't ask

Just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean they want to hear the answer.

And OK, Sher, just for you...but with a twist...often the main reason a person asks you something is in hopes you'll ask them the same question.

But sometimes they drive you crazy too

It's been my experience that a woman's driving ability mirrors the amount of fun she'll be...in bed. Something to do with wild abandon and taking chances maybe.

And I wonder what other kinds of abandon there are? Can you do something with measured abandon, or calm abandon?

Was lost but now am a piece of white cardboard?

OK, so I've been away from this for awhile. I think the Interconnectedness thing threw me off my game, so I'm going to let it go, tho I did have such a moment last week when first I was opening a Reese's Cup and appreciating the simple pleasure of the little white cardboard thingamajig they put in the packaging, and then Satuday night when Paul and Suma were over for dinner, we were talking of the joys of chocolate mixed with peanut butter and Cheryl mentioned how upsetting it is that they don't put the little white cardboard thingamajig in the packaging anymore! What?! But I...It was...I just saw...(insert Twilight music here).

Anyway, I have a list of stuff to write about, so I'll try to add one thing a day. I guess this was it for today, tho I didn't plan it to be.

First, shoot the lawyers, then send guns and money

I recently encountered an old schoolmate, who was 4 years or so behind me in high school. I don't remember a great deal of interaction with him, but when I saw him last, he was a painfully shy 8th grader, whom I went out of my way to say hi to because I could see me in him as a shy kid, trying to find someone/anyone to so much as send a friendly nod my way.

When I approached him last night, he stuck out his hand with a smile, said "Hi Jamie", then stood up and said “How’s it going your way?” to which I said "Great", to which he said “so how’s it going your way?”, to which I said something along the lines of "It couldn't be going any better, how about you?" So after that discomforting start, we lapsed into small talk for a few minutes during which he constantly looked around the room as if he was waiting the arrival of someone more far important than me, while checking his blackberry or some equivilent handheld electronic device.

He wore a silk-ish grey suit and a patterned light purple tie with loafers and no socks and moved like a quintessential lawyer, which he is, all stiff, like he hadn’t so much as bent over in 30 years, except to take a dump.

And there he was, just exactly what we all wanted to make sure we never became when we got to this age.

If anyone reading this ever sees me in a grey suit with a purple tie and loafers but no socks, checking a random handheld electronic device, consider this my living will - shoot me then and there and do not resuscitate and you will have done me and society at large, tho not necessarily my family, a great service, which isn't to say I would do that to him, because I'm not judging. Oh no, I would never do that.

I just wish I'd said this first

"And for our part, let’s stop being so surprised when we discover that our public figures have their own complex sex lives, and start being more suspicious when they self-righteously denounce the sex lives of others."
Laura M. Mac Donald, in the NY Times 9/2/07

...and maybe the Church of Rock n Roll

"I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball."
- Annie Savoy (played by Susan Sarandon), Bull Durham

Abbeen Tellin' ya

OK, this one's even better. Today we picked up our new Foreign Exchange student - Ammar. Today's featured letter to Dear Abby? About a family taking on a new foreign exchange student.

Mini-Icee's

OK, maybe these are a reach, but two more mini-IC's (Interconnectness...es): We talked about Pee Wee Herman at length the other day and Paul Reubens was on Jimmy Kimmel last night.

And today, my co-worker, Steve, talked wistfully of the idea of owning a big old car, from the 70's or so, with the huge back seat. And sure enough, on my way home a few hours later, a gig ole 60's era El Dorado with antique plates and a huge back seat pulled up a long side me. Just sayin...

Be still, my swelling organ

Twice in the past week, my sister, Laurie, has said something "...made my heart swell." Isn't that a cool expression? It sure does feel like that sometimes, but i wonder if it actually does.

Where am I again? And why am I in this handbasket?

News Item - August 10, 2007:

"The president also faced questions at his news conference on the lack of visible progress in Iraq toward the political reconciliation that the strategy intends to foster.
“There is a lot of work left to be done, don’t get me wrong,” Mr. Bush said. “If one were to look hard, they could find indications that — more than indications — facts that show the government is learning how to function.”

Yeah, they've learned from GW to take month long vacations while their country slides deeper into the abyss.

First Example

I recently did something I would never, ever have thought I'd do - I got plastic surgery! At least of a sort. I have had really bad teeth ever since a dermatologist prescribecd tetracycline when I was a teenager to try to clear up my acne. As a result, I had holes in my teeth, like not from the usual vertical type cavities, but like holes through them from front to back, so you could see through them. And they just kept getting worse with stains on the repairs and all kinds of yuck so bad that I was finding myself not smiling as much as I wanted to for fear of what people might think of me!!! Since one's personality is so closely linked with one's teeth, of course.

So I got 6 new front teeth last week. In my semi-defense, my teeth were so bad, my dental insurance agreed to pay some of it because it was not considered cosmetic, it was medically necessary. Now that's some bad teeth, yo! But in the end, it turned out that their estimate of how much they'd cover was somewhat disingenuous, and instead of paying half the $3500, they only paid about $900, so we were out $2626, to be exact.

So, feeling really guilty about that, I decided I would look into the possibility of a part time job to somehow make it up. Well, back at work a few hours later, Bill,who works down the hall from me, poked his head in my office and asked me if I'd have any interest in doing some part-time consulting work for the township. Giddyup.

Interconnectedness

Serious post here - I sort of don't know what I'm saying here except that I'm going to try to explain a phenomenon that I call Interconnectedness. Maybe someone else called it that first or maybe it's a really bad name for it, but it's the one I came up with to try to describe it. The easiest way to explain it is through the example we've all experienced where you hear a word for the first time or maybe a Band or a place and even though you're sure you've never heard it b4 in your life, you then hear it like 3-4 times in the next week or two.

Actually, that's the weakest example. I'll try to define it better without an example. I only feel the need to write about it, because it's something that happens to me with alarming frequency. Some people would just call it coincidence, and maybe it is, but it's eerie sometimes.

It usually involves a thought I have - maybe a person I think about for the first time in a long time, or a place I want to go to, or a concern I have...and then out of nowhere, something more tangible happens that speaks to my thought, in some cases as if a prayer is answered, tho in most cases, it would be insulting to God (and you know how sensitive he or she is!) to think he got involved in something so silly.

I write about it here, because I'm going to start posting some of the examples of when it happens to me, even the really little ones. Sometimes it happens 2-3 times a day, sometimes, I'll go a week or more without it happening, but I want to starting writing some of them down, and this seemed like the place.

I'll give it the label at the bottom so they can be grouped.

Seriously

Thinking the other day in the one place we all do our best thinking...the shower, with sitting on the toilet a close second...and thinking about my life, i came to this conclusion: I wonder when my dreams will catch up to my reality.

Or maybe it was the puns that ruined the good marriage

I think a good judge of the strength and happiness of a marriage can be gauged in the reaction of one spouse to the other's use of a pun, especially a bad one. If they laugh no matter how bad it is, they're doing fine. If they groan and roll their eyes, there's probably a problem...or lots of them.

Reflect on this

Wow, 2 months since I last posted. It took me two months to come to this conclusion:

The world would be a much better place without mirrors.

Thank you. I'll check back in in October.

Balance

A terrible thing happened in our lives a few months back when our 11-month old cat, a Christmas present for our 6 year old, was killed by dogs. It was heartbreaking all around, of course for Habs, the cat, for Trevor, for Cheryl who did most of the cleaning up, for the rest of the family and presumably for the owner of the dogs, tho it was a challenge for her to express her sorrow to everyone.

It surprised me in the weeks that ensued the need I had, a seemingly physical need as much as an emotional one, to tell people about what happened. And each time I told the story, especially to cat lovers, particularly the kind folks I work with, that it was incredibly selfish of me to tell them this story. What good would they get out of it? They would feel pain too - the sorrow we were all feeling, the sadness, the helplessness. What right did I have to bring such pain into their lives?

But then I thought about the phenomenon of people slowing down to see the after effects of traffic accidents, or to get wrapped up in a story in the news about a mom killing her young children, or a fire that kills a family. Why do we read those stories? It brings us absolutely no joy whatever, only pain and sadness.

So it further struck me that like so many other aspects of our lives, there is so much balance, and also a NEED for so much balance. Give credit to God or whatever, but it's so cool that we have such a need to tell people the terrible things that have happened in our lives and there is such a seeming need for people to hear about such things.

As for me, I slow down to see accidents only to see if I know the people involved. I don't read or watch stories of tragedy, especially if they involve children - I turn the channel as fast as I can if it comes on TV and I glance at headlines to see if I can read them in full, if they meet my criteria. And if someone starts to tell me a story involving children getting hurt, I ask them to stop. I hope I'm not upsetting the balance of the universe.

Having said that, I spent 4 hours last night talking with a friend who is going through a divorce. I got the impression he didn't have many folks he could talk about it with. Well, he had people, but most of them had turned against him, thinking they had to choose sides, and had decided he was the bad guy in the situation, as if there had to be one. Much of it was a sad discussion, but it was 4 hours I enjoyed as much as any 4 hours I've been through in a long time. It was happy too, as he's since fallen in love again, and we also talked about a lot of other fun things as well.

So there's something to be learned there, but I don't know what it is. I think it had more to do with the buddy I was talking with then the subject matter. He's one of the many, many people I've been lucky enough to be friends with in my life.

I just can't stop

Have you ever:

- stood for something
- taken a strong stand
- been stood up by someone
- been big on someone

And have you had to play on an uneven playing field? Actually, I have - our soccer field at Earlham was terrible. No wonder we always lost - it was the proverbial uneven playing field!

...and I probably still am!

I just sent the email below to a guy I graduated with in High School who had emailed a bunch of us about an upcoming reunion. Joe was very active with the Black Student support group at Westtown - I forget the exact name, but it probably fit into some cute acronym like the same group in college - the Black Leadership Action Committee. I forget how it came up, but he once invited me to come over to his room in our senior year to talk about race issues, a topic that has always fascinated me. I don't remember a lot about our discussions, but I remember this: He asked me very matter-of-factly and non-confrontationally, "Are you afraid of black people?" Of course, I answered no, and he didn't challenge me on it, but I suspect the real answer lay somewhere along the lines of Yes! Funny, I also remember my sister, Sherry, asking me the same question some years later, except this time it was about women and of course, I am pretty sure the answer I gave and the one I should more honestly have given were the exact same as to Joe's question.


Hey Joe –

How are you? How’s life? Hey, I saw the thing in The Westtonian about George Bell and googled him to try to say hello and congrats on what was it – getting in to the Hall of Fame? But I couldn’t find an email address for him. Do I remember that you are in touch with him on occasion? If so, please tell him I said Hi and congrats.

I think of you from time to time, Joe, tho I’m embarrassed to admit, I think of you primarily when events like the Imus thing happened. I was a fan of his, to some extent, used to listen to his show on the way to work. It always seemed sad to me that that he felt it necessary to use some of the routines his staff engaged in – sad that he wanted it, sad that people still found it funny. I think after what happened, an opportunity was missed. He pledged to change the format of his show to include, I forget what his exact words were, whether he said more diversity or more minority voices. I wish they’d suspended him, put him on probation and then waited to see what direction he took his show in. He could have used it for good going forward, and taught people a lot.

I get tired of hearing people say that we need a “national dialogue on race”. Seems to me that people love to talk about race issues already. Problem is, it’s too often whites talking to whites and blacks to blacks, and presumably other minorities with each other too. I think I may have told you that I once participated in a “Listening Seminar” hosted by the local YWCA, hosted by the mother of a Westtown Student I coached there in volleyball, named, shoot, her last name was Pettus, for some reason, I’m thinking her name was Candy? She was a very talented actress, I believe. And the father of the family may have been the President of Cheney University? Anyway, there were about 10 of us in the seminar which met 1-2 nights a week for a month or so. I think about ¾ of us were of the Caucasian variety, and the problem was that we were pretty much all of the same mind – open-minded, liberal-types. Well, open-minded to a point. I took many things away from that gathering, but one thing I remember in particular relative to what I started this paragraph with.

One woman was African-American – the head of the local NAACP. She was very angry about a lot of things. And she seemed far more interested in talking than listening, but that was OK, because we had a lot to learn from her. I was upset by some of the things she said, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. One thing she said that most upset me was when someone said they would like to have more opportunity to speak with blacks about race issues and she said that her friends wouldn’t be interested in doing that since they were tired of talking about it with each other! I sure hope that isn’t/wasn’t true, but it kept us from pursuing the idea any further and perhaps an opportunity was missed.

Well, I didn’t expect to go off on that tangent, Joe. I promised you a few years back that I was going to email you with some of my thoughts about race issues, and this is a thimble full of those thoughts. There’s plenty more where they came from, tho none of it necessarily more coherent!

And I also want to make clear that although I admitted above that I think of you primarily in a black/white context, when such issues come up, it has always struck me how comfortable I am around you. You know how you have close friends you can go without seeing or communicating with for years, but when you do see them, you can start talking as though you never stopped hanging with them? You make me feel that way too, not because we have a lot to talk about or a lot in common, but it’s your aura, I think. One that makes you immediately comfortable to be around. I always think of Randy Nadeau that way too, tho since he and I were roomies, we have more to talk about. Anyway, I hope you get my point.

I hope life is great for you, Joe, and if you ever are down here to see the Longs and want to stop in for a home-cooked meal, please let me know. Or I can just meet you somewhere after work if you’d prefer that.

- Jamie

Come again?

My friend Mike, whose blog can be found at http://www.michaelpcolumns.blogspot.com/, recently referred to a store in Exton called Purvis Indian Market, so, wondering where it is, I googled “Purvis” and “Exton” and this was one of the top Google results:

"Social Neuroendocrinology
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobatcontact would be more conclusive. Masturbation-induced orgasm also leads to in-. creased T in heterosexual women (Exton et al. 1999) and men (Purvis et al. ... "

This raises so many questions in my mind (as opposed to my left kneecap) it's going to take everything I have (well, maybe not everything) not to look into it, but it does make me wonder what "T" is and whether it's a good thing, and if so, why only for heterosexers?

I also wonder how they explained to the participants exactly what it was they intended to measure and how they needed to go about compiling the uh, raw data.

Scoring points with people

Last week, someone said in a meeting "Jamie's point is well-taken". Why did he compliment himself for understanding my point instead of saying "Jamie's point is well-made!" How about a little somethin' for the effort!

And have you ever seen anyone's point?

Losing: The New Winning

It seems to me that the wars we've been involved in since say, 1946, and I mean the ones that have lasted longer than a holiday weekend, which rules out Grenada, we've been better off losing than winning or tying:

Korean War - It was a draw and we're still there, many billions of dollars later

Vietnam War - We lost and now their country has never been in better shape. We're one of their major trading partners, and furthermore, if we'd "won" we'd have spent many billions of dollars propping them up with financial aid these past 30 years

Desert Storm - We won this one, and then had to go back in 10 years later to, as we kept hearing the right-wingers say, "finish the job", which nicely leads us to the current

Iraq War - Did we win yet?

Especially all the girls I knew in high school

What ISN'T easier said than done? Even picking a peck of pickled peppers is easier said than done.

Just don't ask what I think of when I see Jerk Chicken on the menu

Whenever someone refers to a door jam, I think about toe jam, which makes me think about strawberry jam, and then jamming a radio frequency, and then I think about learning to play the banjo so I can jam with my friends, which would be fun to do while we eat jambalaya, and we could sing jamboni, jamboni, j-j-j-j-jamboni. And then, of course, it gives me yet another chance to think only of myself.