Get me re-write

OK, upon viewing my last two posts, the two directly below this one, it seems like maybe I should have had a different subject line on the lower one, so it doesn't look like the two are related, so to speak, in any way! I'll look into it.

And sometimes I just don't like the answers I give myself

I guess I found the answer to my previous question about which kind of pain I'd rather do away with, but I wish I hadn't figured it out this way. My (first-) cousin (-once-removed), Laura, died on Sunday. They found her dead in her apartment in Denmark where she was on an off campus program of some sort.

Even though I thought of Laura as sort of a generally sad person, not happy enough with herself, or content with her attributes, every image I have of her in my mind is with the biggest of smiles, always with a glow, just enjoying the scene she was a part of, enjoying the people she was with. But then, every time I was with her, she was with her family, and she clearly loved them very much. She seems like she would have been a good person to have as a friend - loyal, a good listener, low-maintenance, always looking for the humor in things...like a lot of us McVickar-types, of which she was one, tho her last name was Schaefer.

She emailed me a few months ago from Denmark, and here is what she wrote:

"Jamie & Co.,Don't cancel Big TG on my account! I do understand your reasoning, though. Part of me is a little relieved -- since I would have missed it anyway, I'm a little glad I won't be missing out on great big family fun! It's a Friday night here and, normally, that would involve partying (I did get drunk for the very first time [of my life] last night... I am quite entertaining when intoxicated) -- however, I am, sadly, sick. I've got the snifflies and the coughs and I'm losing my voice... I must say, it's extremely annoying. It's nice to have a bit of an excuse for a reprieve from social life 24/7, as, over the past year and a half, I've gotten pretty used to having nearly no social life. Big change from there to here! Sometime I'll tell you all about IPC. I need to go back to sleep soon (I'm just waiting for this damn sneeze to finally appear... it's tickling my nose and teasing me but not giving me the satisfaction of a sneeze!), but let me tell you: IPC? Is amazing. It's an amazing experience. Earlier today I talked to one of my teachers (the drama and choir teacher, so he's seen my vulnerable side) about my experiences at Colby and my anxiety and such... a bit of an explanation, I guess? By the end of our talk, we shared a nice hug. I'm already much more outgoing than I ever was at Colby or than I've ever really been in my life, as, out of 50+ students, I feel completely comfortable with about 45 of them. I was telling Mom and Dad that, already, after less than a month here, I can't imagine leaving these people. That they've all affected my life and become important to me... and I definitely won't want them to leave at the end of the term (I say 'them to leave' as I'm going to be staying for a second term). It's truly impressive. Anyway, much more later. I encourage you (and Cheryl, definitely) to respond. Ask questions, give me info about Ev and Elissa and the young'uns and Ammar... also, I'm sure you probably don't have time, but I encourage letters/packages. Packages are a bit much to ask, I know, but hearing one's name at mail call in the morning is wonderful. Here's my address:Laura SchaeferInternational People's CollegeMontebello Alle 13000 HelsingorDENMARKFinally, please, go make an account at http://www.flickr.com/. I have an account (ldougers) -- Dad and K8've signed up as well. Friend me or email me with your account name and I'll add you as family... and you can see my pictures. I'm slowly but surely putting up pictures I have on my computer. Eventually, I'm sure, I'll get up pictures from last Thanksgiving. Anyway, yeah, that's it for now. I've just gotten hiccups and I'd better try to steer them away. Like cattle. Annoying, annoying cattle. Much, much love! Laura"

...which she quickly followed with:

"PS (I suppose): Does one steer cattle? Or herd it? You herd sheep and steer cattle, yes? I like sheep so I'd say my hiccups aren't sheep. But I like cows, too. Anyway, I was concentrating on this steering/herding phenomenon and now said hiccups have been steered. Or herded. Whatever. PPS: If you couldn't tell that I'm exhausted and rather ill before, then you can now, right? ...right. PPPS: Love!"

This was my very unfortunate reply:

"Hi Laura - I am SO behind on emails. I'll catch (sic) with you one of these days. Great to hear you're having a good time tho.- Jamie"

Not even so much as a "Love, Jamie" ...and here it is 2 months later and I never did reply, dammit. What an asshole. But who's hurt most by my ignorance? Me...I hope.

Oh yeah, the answer to my question is I'd rather never feel physical pain again. The pain I've felt this week feels good...appropriate, like Laura deserves my feeling this much pain, not that she'd want me to, but because if I just thought "Ah, darn the luck." and moved on, it wouldn't have been the right reply. There's some inexplicable solace in the pain I've felt all week.

I'm glad I got to know you these past few years, Laura. Thanks for always brightening my life, when ever you were in it. Love, Jamie

Unless she's really into incest, then it would work the same

It strikes me that there's no better example of the difference between men and women than how they break up. A girl, wanting to do it in the nicest possible way, tells the guy that he thinks of him more of as a brother, and wants to remain friends. There is nothing worse you can say to a guy. All the guy hears is that he's ugly, and worse, that he's lousy in bed.

If a girl really wants to be nice, she'd say she's breaking up with him even though the sex is the best she's ever had, but she just can't get over what an asshole the guy is. A guy would leave that conversation on cloud nine, pumping his fist and telling his buddies all about it.

The way a guy breaks up with a girl? He stops calling her or taking her calls. Ever the more thoughtful of the genders.

other than that we're lots of fun!

Who changes more between the ages of 14 and 30 - males or females? And I don't mean in terms of appearance.

(decide before you read further...)

Most people I know say males, but I disagree. I don't think guys change from the time they're 14 til pretty much the time they die. Girls change more b/c at age 14 they think guys are really cool and mysterious and as loving and thoughtful as they are, but by age 30 they pretty much realize most of us are jerks, more interested in sports, beer, and food than just about anything else.

Well, except playing with ourselves...while we watch sports and drink beer and eat hoagies.

hypothetical

If you had a choice between never again feeling physical pain or mental pain the rest of your life, which would it be?

Don't ask

Just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean they want to hear the answer.

And OK, Sher, just for you...but with a twist...often the main reason a person asks you something is in hopes you'll ask them the same question.

But sometimes they drive you crazy too

It's been my experience that a woman's driving ability mirrors the amount of fun she'll be...in bed. Something to do with wild abandon and taking chances maybe.

And I wonder what other kinds of abandon there are? Can you do something with measured abandon, or calm abandon?

Was lost but now am a piece of white cardboard?

OK, so I've been away from this for awhile. I think the Interconnectedness thing threw me off my game, so I'm going to let it go, tho I did have such a moment last week when first I was opening a Reese's Cup and appreciating the simple pleasure of the little white cardboard thingamajig they put in the packaging, and then Satuday night when Paul and Suma were over for dinner, we were talking of the joys of chocolate mixed with peanut butter and Cheryl mentioned how upsetting it is that they don't put the little white cardboard thingamajig in the packaging anymore! What?! But I...It was...I just saw...(insert Twilight music here).

Anyway, I have a list of stuff to write about, so I'll try to add one thing a day. I guess this was it for today, tho I didn't plan it to be.

First, shoot the lawyers, then send guns and money

I recently encountered an old schoolmate, who was 4 years or so behind me in high school. I don't remember a great deal of interaction with him, but when I saw him last, he was a painfully shy 8th grader, whom I went out of my way to say hi to because I could see me in him as a shy kid, trying to find someone/anyone to so much as send a friendly nod my way.

When I approached him last night, he stuck out his hand with a smile, said "Hi Jamie", then stood up and said “How’s it going your way?” to which I said "Great", to which he said “so how’s it going your way?”, to which I said something along the lines of "It couldn't be going any better, how about you?" So after that discomforting start, we lapsed into small talk for a few minutes during which he constantly looked around the room as if he was waiting the arrival of someone more far important than me, while checking his blackberry or some equivilent handheld electronic device.

He wore a silk-ish grey suit and a patterned light purple tie with loafers and no socks and moved like a quintessential lawyer, which he is, all stiff, like he hadn’t so much as bent over in 30 years, except to take a dump.

And there he was, just exactly what we all wanted to make sure we never became when we got to this age.

If anyone reading this ever sees me in a grey suit with a purple tie and loafers but no socks, checking a random handheld electronic device, consider this my living will - shoot me then and there and do not resuscitate and you will have done me and society at large, tho not necessarily my family, a great service, which isn't to say I would do that to him, because I'm not judging. Oh no, I would never do that.

I just wish I'd said this first

"And for our part, let’s stop being so surprised when we discover that our public figures have their own complex sex lives, and start being more suspicious when they self-righteously denounce the sex lives of others."
Laura M. Mac Donald, in the NY Times 9/2/07

...and maybe the Church of Rock n Roll

"I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball."
- Annie Savoy (played by Susan Sarandon), Bull Durham

Abbeen Tellin' ya

OK, this one's even better. Today we picked up our new Foreign Exchange student - Ammar. Today's featured letter to Dear Abby? About a family taking on a new foreign exchange student.

Mini-Icee's

OK, maybe these are a reach, but two more mini-IC's (Interconnectness...es): We talked about Pee Wee Herman at length the other day and Paul Reubens was on Jimmy Kimmel last night.

And today, my co-worker, Steve, talked wistfully of the idea of owning a big old car, from the 70's or so, with the huge back seat. And sure enough, on my way home a few hours later, a gig ole 60's era El Dorado with antique plates and a huge back seat pulled up a long side me. Just sayin...

Be still, my swelling organ

Twice in the past week, my sister, Laurie, has said something "...made my heart swell." Isn't that a cool expression? It sure does feel like that sometimes, but i wonder if it actually does.

Where am I again? And why am I in this handbasket?

News Item - August 10, 2007:

"The president also faced questions at his news conference on the lack of visible progress in Iraq toward the political reconciliation that the strategy intends to foster.
“There is a lot of work left to be done, don’t get me wrong,” Mr. Bush said. “If one were to look hard, they could find indications that — more than indications — facts that show the government is learning how to function.”

Yeah, they've learned from GW to take month long vacations while their country slides deeper into the abyss.

First Example

I recently did something I would never, ever have thought I'd do - I got plastic surgery! At least of a sort. I have had really bad teeth ever since a dermatologist prescribecd tetracycline when I was a teenager to try to clear up my acne. As a result, I had holes in my teeth, like not from the usual vertical type cavities, but like holes through them from front to back, so you could see through them. And they just kept getting worse with stains on the repairs and all kinds of yuck so bad that I was finding myself not smiling as much as I wanted to for fear of what people might think of me!!! Since one's personality is so closely linked with one's teeth, of course.

So I got 6 new front teeth last week. In my semi-defense, my teeth were so bad, my dental insurance agreed to pay some of it because it was not considered cosmetic, it was medically necessary. Now that's some bad teeth, yo! But in the end, it turned out that their estimate of how much they'd cover was somewhat disingenuous, and instead of paying half the $3500, they only paid about $900, so we were out $2626, to be exact.

So, feeling really guilty about that, I decided I would look into the possibility of a part time job to somehow make it up. Well, back at work a few hours later, Bill,who works down the hall from me, poked his head in my office and asked me if I'd have any interest in doing some part-time consulting work for the township. Giddyup.

Interconnectedness

Serious post here - I sort of don't know what I'm saying here except that I'm going to try to explain a phenomenon that I call Interconnectedness. Maybe someone else called it that first or maybe it's a really bad name for it, but it's the one I came up with to try to describe it. The easiest way to explain it is through the example we've all experienced where you hear a word for the first time or maybe a Band or a place and even though you're sure you've never heard it b4 in your life, you then hear it like 3-4 times in the next week or two.

Actually, that's the weakest example. I'll try to define it better without an example. I only feel the need to write about it, because it's something that happens to me with alarming frequency. Some people would just call it coincidence, and maybe it is, but it's eerie sometimes.

It usually involves a thought I have - maybe a person I think about for the first time in a long time, or a place I want to go to, or a concern I have...and then out of nowhere, something more tangible happens that speaks to my thought, in some cases as if a prayer is answered, tho in most cases, it would be insulting to God (and you know how sensitive he or she is!) to think he got involved in something so silly.

I write about it here, because I'm going to start posting some of the examples of when it happens to me, even the really little ones. Sometimes it happens 2-3 times a day, sometimes, I'll go a week or more without it happening, but I want to starting writing some of them down, and this seemed like the place.

I'll give it the label at the bottom so they can be grouped.

Seriously

Thinking the other day in the one place we all do our best thinking...the shower, with sitting on the toilet a close second...and thinking about my life, i came to this conclusion: I wonder when my dreams will catch up to my reality.

Or maybe it was the puns that ruined the good marriage

I think a good judge of the strength and happiness of a marriage can be gauged in the reaction of one spouse to the other's use of a pun, especially a bad one. If they laugh no matter how bad it is, they're doing fine. If they groan and roll their eyes, there's probably a problem...or lots of them.

Reflect on this

Wow, 2 months since I last posted. It took me two months to come to this conclusion:

The world would be a much better place without mirrors.

Thank you. I'll check back in in October.

Balance

A terrible thing happened in our lives a few months back when our 11-month old cat, a Christmas present for our 6 year old, was killed by dogs. It was heartbreaking all around, of course for Habs, the cat, for Trevor, for Cheryl who did most of the cleaning up, for the rest of the family and presumably for the owner of the dogs, tho it was a challenge for her to express her sorrow to everyone.

It surprised me in the weeks that ensued the need I had, a seemingly physical need as much as an emotional one, to tell people about what happened. And each time I told the story, especially to cat lovers, particularly the kind folks I work with, that it was incredibly selfish of me to tell them this story. What good would they get out of it? They would feel pain too - the sorrow we were all feeling, the sadness, the helplessness. What right did I have to bring such pain into their lives?

But then I thought about the phenomenon of people slowing down to see the after effects of traffic accidents, or to get wrapped up in a story in the news about a mom killing her young children, or a fire that kills a family. Why do we read those stories? It brings us absolutely no joy whatever, only pain and sadness.

So it further struck me that like so many other aspects of our lives, there is so much balance, and also a NEED for so much balance. Give credit to God or whatever, but it's so cool that we have such a need to tell people the terrible things that have happened in our lives and there is such a seeming need for people to hear about such things.

As for me, I slow down to see accidents only to see if I know the people involved. I don't read or watch stories of tragedy, especially if they involve children - I turn the channel as fast as I can if it comes on TV and I glance at headlines to see if I can read them in full, if they meet my criteria. And if someone starts to tell me a story involving children getting hurt, I ask them to stop. I hope I'm not upsetting the balance of the universe.

Having said that, I spent 4 hours last night talking with a friend who is going through a divorce. I got the impression he didn't have many folks he could talk about it with. Well, he had people, but most of them had turned against him, thinking they had to choose sides, and had decided he was the bad guy in the situation, as if there had to be one. Much of it was a sad discussion, but it was 4 hours I enjoyed as much as any 4 hours I've been through in a long time. It was happy too, as he's since fallen in love again, and we also talked about a lot of other fun things as well.

So there's something to be learned there, but I don't know what it is. I think it had more to do with the buddy I was talking with then the subject matter. He's one of the many, many people I've been lucky enough to be friends with in my life.

I just can't stop

Have you ever:

- stood for something
- taken a strong stand
- been stood up by someone
- been big on someone

And have you had to play on an uneven playing field? Actually, I have - our soccer field at Earlham was terrible. No wonder we always lost - it was the proverbial uneven playing field!

...and I probably still am!

I just sent the email below to a guy I graduated with in High School who had emailed a bunch of us about an upcoming reunion. Joe was very active with the Black Student support group at Westtown - I forget the exact name, but it probably fit into some cute acronym like the same group in college - the Black Leadership Action Committee. I forget how it came up, but he once invited me to come over to his room in our senior year to talk about race issues, a topic that has always fascinated me. I don't remember a lot about our discussions, but I remember this: He asked me very matter-of-factly and non-confrontationally, "Are you afraid of black people?" Of course, I answered no, and he didn't challenge me on it, but I suspect the real answer lay somewhere along the lines of Yes! Funny, I also remember my sister, Sherry, asking me the same question some years later, except this time it was about women and of course, I am pretty sure the answer I gave and the one I should more honestly have given were the exact same as to Joe's question.


Hey Joe –

How are you? How’s life? Hey, I saw the thing in The Westtonian about George Bell and googled him to try to say hello and congrats on what was it – getting in to the Hall of Fame? But I couldn’t find an email address for him. Do I remember that you are in touch with him on occasion? If so, please tell him I said Hi and congrats.

I think of you from time to time, Joe, tho I’m embarrassed to admit, I think of you primarily when events like the Imus thing happened. I was a fan of his, to some extent, used to listen to his show on the way to work. It always seemed sad to me that that he felt it necessary to use some of the routines his staff engaged in – sad that he wanted it, sad that people still found it funny. I think after what happened, an opportunity was missed. He pledged to change the format of his show to include, I forget what his exact words were, whether he said more diversity or more minority voices. I wish they’d suspended him, put him on probation and then waited to see what direction he took his show in. He could have used it for good going forward, and taught people a lot.

I get tired of hearing people say that we need a “national dialogue on race”. Seems to me that people love to talk about race issues already. Problem is, it’s too often whites talking to whites and blacks to blacks, and presumably other minorities with each other too. I think I may have told you that I once participated in a “Listening Seminar” hosted by the local YWCA, hosted by the mother of a Westtown Student I coached there in volleyball, named, shoot, her last name was Pettus, for some reason, I’m thinking her name was Candy? She was a very talented actress, I believe. And the father of the family may have been the President of Cheney University? Anyway, there were about 10 of us in the seminar which met 1-2 nights a week for a month or so. I think about ¾ of us were of the Caucasian variety, and the problem was that we were pretty much all of the same mind – open-minded, liberal-types. Well, open-minded to a point. I took many things away from that gathering, but one thing I remember in particular relative to what I started this paragraph with.

One woman was African-American – the head of the local NAACP. She was very angry about a lot of things. And she seemed far more interested in talking than listening, but that was OK, because we had a lot to learn from her. I was upset by some of the things she said, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. One thing she said that most upset me was when someone said they would like to have more opportunity to speak with blacks about race issues and she said that her friends wouldn’t be interested in doing that since they were tired of talking about it with each other! I sure hope that isn’t/wasn’t true, but it kept us from pursuing the idea any further and perhaps an opportunity was missed.

Well, I didn’t expect to go off on that tangent, Joe. I promised you a few years back that I was going to email you with some of my thoughts about race issues, and this is a thimble full of those thoughts. There’s plenty more where they came from, tho none of it necessarily more coherent!

And I also want to make clear that although I admitted above that I think of you primarily in a black/white context, when such issues come up, it has always struck me how comfortable I am around you. You know how you have close friends you can go without seeing or communicating with for years, but when you do see them, you can start talking as though you never stopped hanging with them? You make me feel that way too, not because we have a lot to talk about or a lot in common, but it’s your aura, I think. One that makes you immediately comfortable to be around. I always think of Randy Nadeau that way too, tho since he and I were roomies, we have more to talk about. Anyway, I hope you get my point.

I hope life is great for you, Joe, and if you ever are down here to see the Longs and want to stop in for a home-cooked meal, please let me know. Or I can just meet you somewhere after work if you’d prefer that.

- Jamie

Come again?

My friend Mike, whose blog can be found at http://www.michaelpcolumns.blogspot.com/, recently referred to a store in Exton called Purvis Indian Market, so, wondering where it is, I googled “Purvis” and “Exton” and this was one of the top Google results:

"Social Neuroendocrinology
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobatcontact would be more conclusive. Masturbation-induced orgasm also leads to in-. creased T in heterosexual women (Exton et al. 1999) and men (Purvis et al. ... "

This raises so many questions in my mind (as opposed to my left kneecap) it's going to take everything I have (well, maybe not everything) not to look into it, but it does make me wonder what "T" is and whether it's a good thing, and if so, why only for heterosexers?

I also wonder how they explained to the participants exactly what it was they intended to measure and how they needed to go about compiling the uh, raw data.

Scoring points with people

Last week, someone said in a meeting "Jamie's point is well-taken". Why did he compliment himself for understanding my point instead of saying "Jamie's point is well-made!" How about a little somethin' for the effort!

And have you ever seen anyone's point?

Losing: The New Winning

It seems to me that the wars we've been involved in since say, 1946, and I mean the ones that have lasted longer than a holiday weekend, which rules out Grenada, we've been better off losing than winning or tying:

Korean War - It was a draw and we're still there, many billions of dollars later

Vietnam War - We lost and now their country has never been in better shape. We're one of their major trading partners, and furthermore, if we'd "won" we'd have spent many billions of dollars propping them up with financial aid these past 30 years

Desert Storm - We won this one, and then had to go back in 10 years later to, as we kept hearing the right-wingers say, "finish the job", which nicely leads us to the current

Iraq War - Did we win yet?

Especially all the girls I knew in high school

What ISN'T easier said than done? Even picking a peck of pickled peppers is easier said than done.

Just don't ask what I think of when I see Jerk Chicken on the menu

Whenever someone refers to a door jam, I think about toe jam, which makes me think about strawberry jam, and then jamming a radio frequency, and then I think about learning to play the banjo so I can jam with my friends, which would be fun to do while we eat jambalaya, and we could sing jamboni, jamboni, j-j-j-j-jamboni. And then, of course, it gives me yet another chance to think only of myself.

Except when you're taking care of little kids - that's legit!

Funny how often we say we haven't had time to do something:

"We really want to have you guys over but we've just been so busy."
"I've been trying to get that stuff to you, but I just haven't had time."

But I realized that the same people saying that, myself included, have also had time to watch any number of random TV shows, or cut their grass or go to a ballgame.

So what we/they're really saying is "We really want to have you guys over, but there are just so many other things we'd RATHER do."

Power to the 3-year old people

Our 3-year old daughter, Emma came into our room the other morning while Cheryl and I were still in bed, the TV having just woken us up, after which i reset it to let us sleep a little longer and turned it off, at which point, Emma said "The power must have gone off." Made me realize I know as much about why the power goes on and off as a 3-year old. Not a deep thought, but about right for first thng in the morning.

Stuff I think about sometimes that makes my head hurt if i spent to much time on it, tho not as bad as when i think about what will happen when I die

Is zero a number? Seems like it should be, but if I said that I've been to Namibia a number of times, am I telling the truth?

Is it fair to say we live just minutes away from Keokuk, Iowa? It's many, many minutes, but it's minutes nonetheless. But then noneistheless than many many usually, unless we're talking about many, many negative numbers. Noneisthemore than negative numbers.

Damn illegal immigrants - will they stop at nothing?!

News Item:

Apr. 26
Freddy Sanchez, second baseman of the Pittsburgh Pirates, missed yesterday's game after having a foreign body removed from his right eye, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. He should return from the eye irritation today.

Wait, has anyone gotten his fingerprints? Could be Osama Bin Laden!

But only because we don't have Nixon to kick around anymore

After many years of too much time spent reading newspapers, with a particular fascination with baseball and politics, I've discovered that all the ills of the world can be blamed on one of these factors:

- el nino
- steroids
- climate change
- partisan politics
- the war on terror
- Bill Clinton, though this could soon change to Hillary, in the unlikely event she is elected...or even nominated for that matter
- the designated hitter

So next time you need an excuse for something, feel free to consult this list. For instance, just yesterday when Cheryl let me have it for forgetting to screw the toothpaste top back on, I simply blamed partisan politics and she didn't seem so upset anymore.

Eli, dude, first, you have got need for a grammar tutor

News Item: Billionaires Start $60 Million Schools Effort

By DAVID M. HERSZENHORN
Published, NYTimes: April 25, 2007

Eli Broad and Bill Gates, two of the most important philanthropists in American public education, have pumped more than $2 billion into improving schools. But now, dissatisfied with the pace of change, they are joining forces for a $60 million foray into politics in an effort to vault education high onto the agenda of the 2008 presidential race.

“If we really want to get the job done, we have got to wake up the American people that we have got a real problem and we need real reform.” said Mr. Broad, the billionaire who founded SunAmerica Inc. and KB Home and who has long been a prodigious donor to Democrats.

that pretty much covers it

Conversation with 6-year old Trev:

Trev, after seeing a McDonalds commercial: "I'm Loving it"
Me: "I'm lovin' you!'
Trev: "I'm lovin Life!"
Me: Cool, really, Trev?"
Trev: Yeah...sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's frustrating, sometimes it's not fair, sometimes I'm sad...and sometimes I'm happy!"

an I for an I

Why, when people write Letters to the Editor, do they insist on saying, "I, for one, would like to see...". If the Editor ever gets a letter saying, "I, for two..." I hope they publish it...and then contact the authorities...unless it's from a pregnant woman.

Boring stuff about masturbation and murder and stuff

OK, so I've been away from this for awhile and to my legions of readers, I apologize. My sister, laur-laur emailed me today and having just read it for the first time, gave me major positive reinforcements, affirmations, compliments and generally nice comments about this ole blog, so I'm re-energized.

A couple of things kept me away from it. One was that I've sort of set up a pattern of cutsie little thoughts, and I feel like I've painted myself in a corner (Have you ever? I have!). And I'm sort of writing too much with my audience in mind, an audience of, I think, Mike, Cheryl and Kate, all of whose interest in this site means a LOT to me, but I think I'll mix in some other stuff, like just stuff, whether it's stuff in my life or random thoughts even if they aren't funny.

Another reason I haven't written as much is from feeling a lot of sadness lately. Not like overwhelming depression-type sadness, just sadness about the way the world is. The Iraq war, the Climate Change thing, the disappearing bees, and this is going to sound funny, but the the recent thing with Imus getting fired really disturbed me. Partially because of what it said about me as a fan of his show, but also what it said about society. And from both sides, too. It upsets me that people talk and think that way, and it upsets me that people get so upset about someone saying something so stupid. I have a lot more thoughts on what happened there, but I'm not going to spend anymore time on it. Too much has been said and written about it already.

Another thing that happened in the past month or so since I last wrote was the shootings of 33 people at Virginia Tech. It was upsetting for obvious reasons, but from a selfish standpoint, which, after all, is what blogs are all about - the only thing more narcissitic is probably masturbation - well, there goes my whole audience - where was I, oh yeah, for those still reading, the second most upsetting thing to me about it was how unaffected I was by it. It was like, Wow, that's a shame, what's for dinner.

Of course, when the very next day, over 100 Iraqis were killed in a bombing in downtown Baghdad, I think it helped me better understand why it didn't upset me as much as I think it should have. It's all needless murder (as opposed to needed murder?) whether it's citizens going about their lives in Iraq or attending classes in Virginia.

Well, I have another thought about that but I'll save it for a seperate entry. Thanks for hanging in there with me, M & K & C...and now L!

you could probably grow mushrooms in there

Press Briefing by Tony Snow
White House Conference Center Briefing Room

1:10 P.M. EDT March 21, 2007

(well into the press conference, but quoted verbatim, if somewhat out of context)

MR. SNOW: “You know, the President has a very fertile
mind.”

Me: "yeah, full of shit"

Maybe the Bush Presidency has been a success after all

News Item, March 23, 2007, Seattle Times:

WASHINGTON — Public allegiance to the Republican Party has plunged since the second year of George W. Bush's presidency, as attitudes have edged away from some of the conservative values that fueled GOP political dominance for more than a decade, a new survey has found.
The survey, by the nonpartisan Pew Research Center for People and the Press, found a "dramatic shift" in political-party identification since 2002, when Republicans and Democrats were at rough parity. Now, half of those surveyed identified with or leaned toward Democrats, while 35 percent aligned with Republicans.
What's more, the survey found the public attitudes are drifting toward Democrats' values: Support for government aid to the disadvantaged has grown since the mid-1990s, skepticism about the use of military force has increased and support for traditional family values has edged down.

What a world, what a world

It used to be when someone said "What'll they think of next?!", it referred to some amazing invention or time-saving device. Now it refers to sites like this one:

http://www.popularitydialer.com

Though I have to admit, there are times I coulda used their service.

Theorize This

Lawrence M. Krauss, a theorist at Case Western Reserve, said not long ago at a public panel on cosmology in Chicago: “If you got rid of us, and all the stars and all the galaxies and all the planets and all the aliens and everybody, then the universe would be largely the same. We’re completely irrelevant.”

Actually, that's not true. If you got rid of just me, the universe would be changed forever. Well, at least mine would be.

Shirley you can be Frank with me

Did ya ever wonder why when someone starts a sentence with "Needless to say..." they say it anyway?

Whenever someone says "Honestly..." or "Frankly..." or "To tell the truth..." or my favorite "To be really honest with you..." it makes me think they aren't telling the truth the rest of the time.

Have you ever been Frank with someone?

And can you get put in jail for feeling a little Randy?

Come again?

On a family trip back from Vermont, the kids asked: "How much hours til we get home?", to which Cheryl told them that we would get there much faster if they'd go to sleep, elaborating that it's just like Christmas when she tells them that the faster they fall asleep, the faster Santa will come, which got me to thinking how unlike that is from most men, who, the faster they come, the faster they fall asleep.

Over-the-Hillary

I had decided that I couldn't support Hillary for fear that if she won the nomination she might not win the Presidential election. Now I've decided I can't support her for fear she might actually win the Presidential election.

Besides, I have a hard time voting for anyone for whom Rupert Murdoch has held fund-raisers.

Maybe they were on to something after all

News Item: PRINCETON, N.J. (AP) — The extrasensory perception lab at Princeton University will be shuttered at the end of the month. The Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research laboratory will close after 28 years of studying ESP and telekinesis.

If they had asked me, I could have told them this would happen.

Anyways, how comes this makes me want institutionalized?

Linguistic words or phrases that make me cringe:
- anyways
- how comes
- leaving out the infinitive "to be" as in "My car needs washed"
- This doesn't bother me as much, but my buddy Mike goes nuts whenever anyone says something is ironic, since 90+% of the time they are using the word incorrectly, which I, of course, find ironical.

Does this mean I'm always happy or always unhappy?

When I'm asleep in bed, and the alarm goes off, I don't want to wake up.
Once I wake up, I don't want to get out of bed.
When I'm out of bed and in the shower, I don't want to get out of the shower.
When I'm ready to leave for work, I don't want to leave my family.
When it's the end of the day at work, and I'm the only one still here, it's hard for me to leave.
Once I leave, I can't wait to get home to see my family.
Once I'm home, and have been around the little kids for too long, I can't wait til they're in bed.
When they're in bed, and the time is mine, I don't want to go to bed.
Once I go to sleep...

...and furthermore...

Have you ever come and gone?!

But then how do you explain a hermaphrodite?

I went to get my drivers license picture taken the other day...like two months late, and they asked me if I wanted to be an Organ Donor. After checking yes, I found myself wondering why anyone wouldn't want to be one, like, what's the downside.

Maybe some people who believe in reincarnation think that if you donate your eyes, you'll be reincarnated as a blind person?

And will these things get you In Shape?!

Have you ever:
- come up with something off the top of your head?
- pulled something out of your ass?
- kept a stiff upper lip?
- been armed to the teeth?
- rolled your eyes?
- kept your nose to the grindstone?
- kept your eyes peeled?
- had your knees buckle?
- watched your mouth?
- kept your eye on the ball?
- worn your heart on your sleeve?
- tried to put words in someone's mouth?
- stood on principle?
- said something that fell on deaf ears?
- softened your stance?
- toed the line?
- been up in arms?
- or (my favorite) have you ever come into your own?!

Please don't make me weather your coed naked dream story

Things people love to talk about that I, well, don't:
- the weather
- my ancestry...or yours
- your golf game
- your fantasy team
- the dream you had last night, unless i was in it or you were naked, or both.

McCain do, Da Bears don't

First Presidential prediction for 2008, subject to lots of changes: John Edwards will lose to John McCain. And while I'm at it for Sunday's Super Bowl - Indianapolis 23, Da Bears 7

Not to be obtuse, but explain the theory of relativity in 20 words or less

How come whenever someone says, "Just a quick question...", the answer never is.

And whenever someone says, "Not to interrupt...", it means that's exactly what they're about to do.

And that's all I have to say...about this

Don't you wish people meant it when they start a sentence with "All I can say is..."

Everything in Toleration

I just can't tolerate intolerance.

Wax This

Things you can wax: your bikini region, your car, poetic, rhapsodic, nick knack patty

Yet another childhood myth debunked

Just last week, I found out that, where i had always been told that we use only 10% of our brain, Time magazine says that we do in fact use all 100% of it...well, certain Presidents notwithstanding. And now I find out that Cooties aren't necessarily a bad thing.

My cousin, Kate, who is the Assistant Director of Student Accounts at Hartwick College (AD-SAHC?) , tells me that a student at Hartwick just got a scholarship from The Military Order of the Cooties. As Casey Stengel used to say, you could look it up: http://www.lotcs.org/.

Maybe this whole Iraq War thing isn't SO bad

From today's NY Times, Republican Senator Voinovich says that he told a White House official at the State of the Union address on Tuesday that the stalemate in Iraq was threatening to consume the Bush presidency.: "“It’s time to recognize that if you keep going the way you are, you are never going to achieve what you want to achieve,” Mr. Voinovich said. “And, beyond that, it’s going to fall over on your domestic initiatives and make your presidency uneventful and not have meaning.”

I'm not sure how being responsible for over 100,000 casualties can be defined as an uneventful and meaningless Presidency, but if it means he can't wreak further havoc in the world with his policies, both foreign and domestic, then at least there's an upside to the war.

And...does anyone ever wreak anything besides havoc?

Margaux' Legacy

One of my goals in life, along with someday writing a hymn, is to never have my name appear in the same sentence as the phrase "badly decomposed body".

I wonder what Baker thinks about the Fruitcake?

When reporters asked James Baker how he thought GWB might react to the Iraq Study Group's report, Baker said "I hope we don't treat this like fruit salad and say, 'I like this, but I don't like that.'"

No, actually, GWB treated it the same way I treat Fruit Salads: "Geez, you must've worked hard on that. Now pass the gravy!"

Betty or Gerald - Quien es mas macho??

Am I the only one who noticed that there seemed to be more written about Betty Ford in the obits after Gerald Ford died than about poor ole Gerry? And funny how all the Republican Presidents, even Nixon, keep looking better the longer we get into GW's second term? Well, not Reagan so much. He still looks bad.

Satchel Updated

Satchel Paige once said "Don't look back, something might be gaining on you."

My variation on that is:

Don't look in the rear-view mirror unless you want to go in reverse.

And I mean that both literally and figuratively.

Actually, here are all Satchel's rules:

"Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood".
"If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts".
"Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move".
"Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society — the social ramble ain't restful".
"Avoid running at all times".
"And don't look back — something might be gaining on you".

New Year's Resolutions

Wow - only 15 days into the year and I've accomplished 2 of my 3 new years resolutions. See if you can figure out which ones:

1 - Wear jeans to work more often
2 - Lose ANOTHER 10-20 pounds this year (let the record show i started the year at 189, down from a high of 204 in 2006)
3 - Start a blog

Times up. If number 2 had been GAIN another 10-20 pounds, i might have accomplished that at the rate I'm going, but no, obviously, I've done #1 and 3.

So this is my first entry. I'm not sure how this is going to look on my blog - or what any of it looks like yet, or who might read it, so I'll just post this for now and see where it goes and how it looks. Hopefully, much more to come...